How to Make Friends

by on January 25, 2013

In which Hank talks about friends, why they're important, and how we make them. TL;DR, don't take advantage of good friends, they are extremely important and very rare. Acquiring new ones is hard, especially inorganically...but you can increase your chances by finding places where you can have repeated, unplanned interactions with the same people, being receptive to people, and open to conversation. And, of course, thinking carefully about people, being thoughtful, and asking them to help you out every once in a while.

Also, don't get married to people who aren't your friend. UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES!

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Julia Lawliss January 26, 2013 at 12:29 am

Hi there, Nerdfighter Brothers,

You are both amazing people, in the mind and the heart. The Fault in Our Stars, which you two worked together on, was phenomenal. As a natural bookworm I could not resist reading it. Once I did….I could not stop. TFIOS was just too breathtakingly beautiful. You deserve a medal for making such an inspiring piece of literature.

I know that you guys–preferably John, is constantly asked this, so I must apologize beforehand….Are you going to publish more books? If so, I cannot wait to read them!

Anyway, I also enjoy watching your videos. They always bring a smile to my face :) This one especially.

Thank you John and Hank for being inspirational souls with pens that create a unrealistic world with realistic thoughts and life morals.

Sincerely, a proud Nerdfighter.

Julia (17)

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Julia Lawliss January 26, 2013 at 12:40 am

Dear John Green, a.k.a Leader of all Nerdfighters, and the most amazing author since…ever:

Let me start this letter by saying that I admire you. Always have, and always will. You are my all-time favorite authors, and the only one that has ever truly inspired me and made me sob a flood-load of tears over a fictional book.

(I am sure you are or have been told this a million times, and I apologize for the receptiveness, but a man like you deserves to hear the above statements more than once.)

I began to read your novels about a year ago thanks to my amazing best friend who is also a big fan of you, and a fellow Nerdfighter, too. She first introduced me to Looking for Alaska, which I immediately fell in love with and really related to. Your characters, Miles and Alaska, I could see myself in them–especially, Miles in the sense that even though I may be known as a “social butterfly” at school, I am actually a huge loner.

Anyway, after I read LFA, I dashed to the library and borrowed every copy of every novel you’ve written. Each one, I loved. Tremendously.

However, last summer, that was when I really truly fell in love. That was the summer when I encountered The Fault in Our Stars….

The moment I flipped open the cover and started to read, there was no way of stopping me. It was just….amazingly breathtaking. Also, sad. Very, very sad. But a good sad, in the sense that even though Gus passed away, Hazel never gave up on her love for him. She kept right with it. Until the end. That takes willpower and strength.

That is the definition of true, infinite love.

TFiOS though not only taught me the true meaning of that (love), but it also taught me the power of acceptance.

You see, since the moment I was three months old I have had a lifelong struggle with respiratory issues. I even have a trach (a tube mechanism that is in my airway to help me breathe.) It was a difficult childhood, yes, but both my parents stayed by my side through it all. Still do to this day.

Do not worry though, my friend. I am as healthy as you now, and I am a junior at my city’s high school where I am very happy and a honors student. At times I do tend to relapse back to the way I was years ago–sick, pathetic. Luckily though, over the last couple years, I have gotten stronger which has helped my immune system to fight any illness or infection that attempts to sneak its evil, ugly body into my fragile, small one.

Sadly, despite this, I do get depressed and overly emotional sometimes. Whenever I look in a mirror I think of all the despising features on my face, rather than calling myself beautiful which I know I must. Right?

However, after reading TFiOS…things changed.

I started to build confidence I never knew existed. I rarely look in mirrors and read crappy fashion magazines anymore and think I’m worthless. I don’t think of myself as a burden on my parents anymore either….So, I thank you John Green. Thank you for writing this inspiring, fantastic book and saving me from myself.

As Augustus would say, “I’m on a roller coaster that only goes up.”

Thank you for being you, John Green.
Please, if you may, I’d love it if you’d respond to this message.

God Bless,
Julia (17)

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Ellen January 31, 2013 at 2:55 pm

I like this break-down very much. Think I’ll listen to it again. Best!

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Christine July 28, 2013 at 3:28 pm

THIS IS GREAT! Friendships are so important. GOOD friendships are hard to find, but we have some pointers on our blog and you can check it out here http://www.weartostandout.com/blog/how-to-be-a-hepburn-in-a-hilton-world-chapter-four and tell us what you think! xoxo, WearToStandOut

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